Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
