My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
