I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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