Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
