Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize