dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
