i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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