i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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