Small penises have feelings too.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
