she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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