She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
