your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
how do you play pong handcuffed?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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