Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dick very happy bro
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
