just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
