He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
