Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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