You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
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We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
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I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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