and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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