At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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