This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
