I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
