Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
