I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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