brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
