I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
