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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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