so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
