remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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