Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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