And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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