STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
