I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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