I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
smell my finger.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
