Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
