dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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