i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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