I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
