i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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