Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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