I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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