i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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