He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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