i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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