I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
