Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
