He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
