I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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