Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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