I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
