i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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