I must be too annoying 4 u.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
