my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize