I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
