That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
