I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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