His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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