She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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