they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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