sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
