thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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