A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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