And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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