then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
