I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize
